Posts Tagged ‘Jewish’

Is this the New Bible?

Posted 26 Jul 2012 — by admin
Category Reviews

“Leonard, are you telling me that some church published another bible, adding to the already crowded shelves of religious books?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re telling me with all the biblical revisions and updated versions, another bible preaching good and evil adorns my local bookstore or my library?”

“Yes to another bible, no to bookshelf space. I downloaded the new super duper bible named Bunny Bible (Church of the Animated Bunny) by Terrence747, onto my Kindle from Amazon.com.”

Fear not, fellow Biblicists. The ‘Bunny’ part of the name should quell any thoughts of punishment by fire and brimstone, reducing God’s wrath to a warm and fuzzy feeling. There’s even a priestly picture of Terrence, the spiritual rabbit, on the cover, wearing an Eastern Orthodox mitre and holding a menorah. His floppy ears are visible, not tucked under the mitre. Terrence wants to make a statement that rabbits also are capable of being ordained as priests.

Those of you who know about me, know I’m a biblical kind of guy of the Hebrew Testament variety. I take my religion and bible reading seriously. When I saw the Bunny Bible, with a sacrilegious animal standing in for a priest, a rabbi, and an imam, I was infuriated. Hey, Mister Terrence, you’re making fun of sacred text. I did not back away. I read it to determine the points I would use to skewer it on my website review. After reading it from front to back, I found this bible to be short and to the point, amazing, impressive. The 22 pages were packed with metaphysical thought, creeds, and philosophical comparisons with other religions, told to us by Terrence747. I wasn’t fooled by his name, nor did I care. The text was the oeuvre. Still, I had no reservation calling Terrence747 Bugs Bunny, Roger Rabbit, or Peter Rabbit.

I thought I’d lost it paying money, even a dollar, to purchase this new and improved bible. (By comparison, my Testament has about 2,000 pages to read.) For me, it was a Nancy Pelosi moment. You don’t need to read 2,000 pages to find out what it says. To paraphrase our dear Congresswoman: once God makes it operational, you’ll understand it. How you ask? As a sinner, God puts a stick of dynamite down your pants, waits for penance, and incinerates you if you fail to repent.

But wait. How do we know the Church of the Animated Bunny is the truer church? Unlike others, they don’t claim to be the true religion or church. Therefore, for knowing this fact, they’re a truer church. This was great stuff. Terrence went one step further. He sermonized that we can make society whole by being obedient to God’s first and last commandment, “Thou shalt disobey me.” That commandment was a bell ringer in my head. It was original.

Terrence tells us that karma is now our master. A universal juxtaposition rules all our moral decisions: the Golden Rule of “Do unto others…” or “an eye for an eye….” Imposed is fairness in our relationship with our fellow humans. The karma differs when we exercise our free will. Terrence tells us to shoot for the top, aiming our actions for a position of win-win. We’ll hit the other three on occasions, says our leader. Just work to gain the win-win position in whatever endeavor you try.

I recommend that you not get caught owning this book. Doze off to sleep with the Bunny Bible under your pillow. Hope your grandchildren play the tooth fairy and steal it away from your Kindle, and leave a dollar.

Cannibalism Explained to a Vegan

Posted 17 Jul 2012 — by admin
Category Our Jewish Robot Future

Response to Stephanie Digby. Comment dated Jan. 30, 2012

Dear Stephanie,

I agree with your comment that species, described in my book as vegetarian, ate more than plants. They absorbed insects, bacteria, and fecal material as part of the eating process. It was an impossibility for them to clean away all food impurities. Where I differ is your suggestion that vegans don’t eat impurities. Grains, fruits, and vegetables are not free of insects or bacteria. Vegans may not eat impurities in the same quantities today– because we utilize better methods of cleaning and processing food–but eat them they do. Impurities surround us. To think all food is 100% pure is folly. I eat a biblical diet, but God only knows what I have ingested. The thought of eating insects on a camping trip–such as ticks, which are not biblically permitted–is not to my liking. It’s not intentional. I can’t avoid it, but I do accept it.

I respect the beliefs of vegans. But do not overreach with regards to its purity. Only robots can make that claim.

I would bring to your attention our changing universe and its impact on food sources. Earth has changed; Species of animal and vegetable have changed; Food sources and systems of raising animals or farming for vegetables and fruit have changed; Habitats have changed; Inland waters have changed. For example, bass feed on plants, but they also eat insects and crayfish. (Crayfish are a shellfish and therefore not biblically permitted for consumption.) They compete with other fish for the same food in impure waters filled with waste. Pure streams or bodies of water only appear in advertisements. In conclusion, when hungry, in a limited environment, anybody or anything will eat what is available.

The cannibalism I described in my Garden of Eden book is different. I wrote about my vision of an idealistic human spiritual life. Semi-nomadic existence ruled, and survival for these tribesmen meant life was supported by logic, instinct, and back-breaking work. No schools existed. Children faced the same dangers, as their parents: starvation, disease, and injury or death from warfare. They learned everything needed to survive from their parents: harvesting crops, shepherding, and fighting with weapons. I had an overwhelming respect for them.

In this year’s headlines, horrific acts of cannibalism have savaged several victims. The most notable was a homeless person having his face totally disfigured. I would classify eating the face of another person as an act of violence. But there are other forms of cannibalism. Eating the body of another human, when hungry, is an act of desperation. I think of the Chilean sports team members who survived a plane crash and lived in the Andes for months before being found. We know our ancestors from ten of thousands of years ago feasted on their fathers in an act of triumph or as a way to imbibe knowledge. Can we separate that type of cannibalism from desperation or violence?

Were humans vegetarians in the beginning? Probably not. Gathering food, they feared being the hunted. Gathering plants was easy. So was picking up scraps from a dead animal’s carcass. As individuals, we have a short span of time to satisfy our hunger. Watch out. They are billions of other like individuals.

The Greatest Experience

Posted 31 Oct 2010 — by admin
Category home

My greatest experience began the 8th day after the birth of a grandson. It was an extraordinary day to start, given the ceremonial celebration about to happen. But, an even greater extraordinary day awaited without my knowledge. No future date on a calendar would attach to commemorate what was about to happen: the leap from a finance professional to spiritual savior. It counted in seconds. My services as a faith healer, if needed, would be available to those requiring a surrogate to speak directly with God, until nightfall.

Early that day, sitting in Elijah’s chair, I held my grandson in my arms, as he was circumcised. What followed, simply put, was astonishing and amazing. After the Rabbi preformed the ritual, he told me the importance of my role, as the sayndich. I held the child during the ceremony, with God witnessing everything from above: my commitment to faith, my character, my bonding with the child, and my steady hands. The Rabbi said I was granted permission to speak directly with God. Presumably, the Rabbi heard God tell him I possessed character and handed me the responsibility.

It’s amazing when you consider my religious training, by comparison, being virtually non-existent, with other religious persons. Piano players become good because they practice. If you don’t practice, nobody knows your name. Not so in my circumstance. I overcame my weak credentials and rose to the highest level of spiritual intervention between humans and God. The honor reserved only for the very pious and devout was achieved with no effort. Religious people study Talmud and live whole lives by its principles. It takes many years of study and devotion to reach such a high level of spiritual essence. Some work with devotion and never reach the pinnacle. But, if one is lucky enough to learn and gain an extraordinary amount of knowledge and understanding, its persona magnetizes people to seek out such persons. Who else but the creme de la creme should speak with God?

The importance and responsibilities of being a faith healer were no laughing matter. Imagine, someone asking you for divine intervention for a sick family member. I reached deep into my soul to find the right words. Besides help for illness, infertile persons or unmarried children seeking spouses came forward for supplication. Good people with hurt expressions needed consolation with gaping holes in their lives. Tears sealed any doubt of my role, and purpose and tears from those requesting a blessing relinquished any doubt of sincerity.

I was staggered by the number of people waiting to ask for help. A quick glance counted about twenty. Every person in line, when their turn came, counted on me to speak with God in an authentic and purposeful way. How’s that: an extraordinary day turned even more extraordinary. As evening approached, knowing my powers would soon end, I reflected on my special day. I hoped God intervened because I asked. The reward I wanted was to remember the inner satisfaction I experienced by helping. As to the exact date, I don’t recall.

Inspiration behind Margarita’s character

Posted 31 Mar 2010 — by admin
Category Our Jewish Robot Future

When considering writing about the Garden of Eden, I thought the book would be an in depth study of the sacred grounds and story characters. I believed, in the end, it would be a worthwhile book and a crowning achievement. I quickly realized, the research to support my ideas would not help to prove anything. Knowledgeable people in biblical studies would dismiss my work, as flippant and prove personally embarrassing. Questions, I imagined, as to why I was awarded a graduate degree, would surface. I imagined it would be a reflection on the University. They had a point. In graduate school, I read subpar works thought by authors to be tomes. I hadn’t planned to join that infamous group. I had self-respect.

I changed my approach and wrote fiction, in biographical form, about a bon vivant discovering the true essence of the Garden of Eden story. The storyteller was Leopold Rabbit, who in time proved to be a character too close to home. Leopold and Leonard sounded similar and Rabbit coincided with my powers of procreation. A first draft was completed and it was awful. In addition, I lacked the mechanics to write a good story. I used the finished draft as scrap paper for my printer.

I revisited a teacher at the University of Michigan. His advice was clear: write a story in first person, in the form of a memoir. He was right. Even so, writing it was not problem free. Oh, words flowed off my fingertips into the computer. Defining the lead character at every turn proved difficult. At every turn, the novel sounded like my autobiography.

After thought, I decided the novel’s main character would be, as close as possible, the most improbable person I knew on the planet. The criteria refined my thinking questioning, who from my world is 180 degrees. Where would I find such a person? Walk around town. Maybe I’d find ample selections. Immediately, ideas sprouted. The lead character had to be a woman. Other traits flowed: a foreign born character, someone who we knew that lived in a different society, flamboyant, attractive but not magnetizing. Some parts of the character needed to be close to home: believable, able to live in conservative Birmingham, Michigan. Someone outgoing who would be an unreliable narrator fit my mold.

Sometimes writers know such a person. A real person they’ve met, a friend or lifelong relation. Even if they’re a figment in your mind, authors change names and the person becomes fictionalized. Margarita was different. Even though I brought her to life, I have never met or seen such a person. I’ve traveled to Italy, and I’ve met men who married Italian born women living here in Michigan. There has never been a match. I can’t say that about all the other characters in my novel.