The Printing Press at Full Speed

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Posted 28 Jun 2012 in Uncategorized

I wrote an earlier blog, just before the 2010 elections, about what the inside of a factory, printing money looks like and how it operates. As a service to my readers, I reviewed the earlier blog and realized I left out an important detail. I felt an obligation to bring you up to date.

I said the printing presses were running to print more money to flow into the economy—hoping the investment bankers will use it to buy stocks and keep demand high to sustain higher stock prices. It makes the incumbent look good. What I forgot to mention was the printing press’ speed. It runs at low, medium, and high, never off. Hairdryers by comparison have three speeds and shut off: the motor and the hot air. If the presses shut down, our climbing federal debt would come to a halt. Should a printing press break down as a result of its enslavement, the slave masters have other printing press on standby, ready to be whipped and forced into running at high speed. Slacking off is not permitted.

I learned you can’t repair a printing press. Let me mention the aftermath, the burial. The noise, the groans of pain went silent. It had sounded so human, I began to cry. Especially painful was learning the process of dismantling the corpse. The machine would not be buried intact or cremated, but instead torn apart, limb by limb or piece of steel by piece of steel. When I heard about how they removed the screws, I began to cringe. The eulogy, I’ve learned from rumor, will be delivered by the Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geitner. His remarks will I’m sure cite the machine’s years of faithful duty, many times beyond the call of duty. I’ve also learned the cause of death was the printing press being forced to run at high speed 24/7 since Franklin Roosevelt was president.

Goodbye, brave soul. You saved for too long the asses of enough Treasury Secretaries. Let someone else do it.

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